Wednesday, May 21, 2008

You are Internet addicted when:

1. Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

2. You get a tattoo that says, "This body best viewed with Netscape 1.1 or higher."

3. Your spouse makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

4. Your friends no longer send you e-mail.... they just log on to your IRC channel.

5. You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.

6. You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html

7. You actually try that 123.elm.street address.

8. You don't know the gender of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

9. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

10. Your dog has its own home page.

11. Your dog's homepage is actually good.

12. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

13. And even your night dreams are in HTML.

14. As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.

15. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

16. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.