Top 10 things not to say to your teacher

10. “Of course I'm not listening to you. Don't be so ridiculous.”

9. “Wow! I saw your pics on this site that required by dad's credit card”.

8. "Why did I get a D and Timmy get an A when he copied mine!"

7. "What are you gonna do? Fail me?"

6. “Oh! I had no idea they'd moved the age of retirement up a few years.”

5. “It's not my fault, honestly. The Bunsen Burner just took on a life of its own.”

4. “You don't really expect me to waste my time on this, do you? The Simpsons are on.”

3. “Of course I'm eligible for LCVP. I'm the most eligible bachelor here!”

2. “But I thought that ‘Higher' level maths meant we were supposed to bring LSD to class.”

1. “I left it at home. No, really. It's lying on my desk at home right now. Seriously.”