It’s Time To Abandon Your Space Station when...

1. “Dear Dmitri: We at Mutual of Ukraine regret to inform you of the cancellation of your insurance policy...”

2. It’s down to just you and Sigourney Weaver.

3. Old ladies swatting at you with rakes from their roof tops.

4. Mission Control asks if you can “beam down immediately.”

5. Network news broadcasts have started referring to you as “Spam in a can.”

6. That’s one small scratch on the port, one giant gash on the starboard side.

7. The Super Glue is gone and you’re down to one roll of duct tape.

8. They’ve already chosen Tom Hanks to play you in Apollo 13, Part II.

9. You and your comrades realize those weren’t “spare” oxygen generator parts you made the still out of.

10. You overhear Mission Control arguing over who gets to keep your stuff.